


Playing Footsie

by SnailFriend



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Crack, Established Relationship, Foot Fetish, M/M, Possible Mpreg, but thats a spoiler ;), its kinda funny, making fun of usuk, shitpost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2020-07-30 21:53:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20104180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnailFriend/pseuds/SnailFriend
Summary: You know what this is.





	Playing Footsie

Arthur Kirkland was known for being a self-proclaimed gentleman. His acquaintances knew him as prudish, egotistical, and a bit harsh. His friends knew him as an idiot desperately faking elegance. Alfred, his boyfriend of 5 years, was the only one who knew the real Arthur. He was the first person to see what was hidden in that shell of shitty personality traits.  
Or so he thought.  
It wasn’t until July 28th, 2019 that the true truth came forward. Alfred was laying naked on their shared bed after his weekly shower. His dick, balls, and testicals were all exposed. Arthur walked in and did a shocked expression. His dick got fully erect.  
“Haha like what you see?” Alfred winked. But then he noticed that Arthur wasn’t looking at his dick or penis or balls or tesicles. Arthur was actually looking at Alfred’s thick, veiny feet. “Dude why are you looking at my thick, veiny feet?” Alfred asked.  
“I’m not” Arthur replied. He walked over and touched Alfred’s largest toe.  
“Bro what are you doing?”  
“I’m not doing anything.” Arthur stroked the sole of Alfred’s most bulbous foot. He licked his lips.  
“Dude seriousl-“  
“Stop getting fussy! I’m minding my own business and here you are making a scene.” Arthur knelt down and suckled upon the metaphorical teet of Alfred’s juicy toes. He made a sound that was kind of like when your vacuum cleaner sucks up something kinda big and you think it’s going to break but it’s fine. Like WHOOOOSGHDSWBGWSZSHOOOOO. Arthur stood back up and his boner was even more big.  
“You’re scaring me, Arthur.”  
“Shut it, git.” Arthur set his pants to off mode and took out his 4.674” cock out. He smacked it on Alfred’s almost-virgin feet.  
“I-“  
“Seriously fucking shut up you dumb cunt nobody fucking cares.”  
“:(“  
Then arthur put his dick in alfred’s foot hole.  
“Ewwww you’re gonna get my foot pregnant, man!” Alfred said.  
“Don’t be stupid. Two siblings can’t have a child.”  
“...bro.”  
“What?”  
“We’re siblings?”  
“Didn’t you know that?” Arthur poured a large amount of healthy sperm inside alfred’s foot.  
“Obviously not.”  
“Well, now you do.”  
“Geeze man now I’m gonna have to deal with an incest foot baby… man this isn’t funny at all.”  
“I told you siblings cant have kids.”  
“Uh yeah they can. Just look at alabama.”  
Arthur looked at alabama. “Oh no” he said. He came in Alfred’s foot again.  
“Could you cut that out?”  
“Cut what out?”  
“Nevermind.”

So the next day Alfred woke up and his foot was big and swollen. He said “Oh no I’m pregnant!” and rushed to the docotor. He had to hop on one leg so he wouldn’t crush the baby.  
He showed up at the er and laid down on the table. The doctor poked his foot, nodded, scribbled some things on a clipboard, and nodded again.  
“Yes, I see… yes…” the doctor said.  
“Is it a boy or a girl?” Alfred asked.  
“It’s puss.”  
“Man, you sjws keep making up stupid new genders. Where’s Bennie Sheperio when you need him, am I right?”  
“I mean your foot is infected.”  
“Oh.”  
“Just rub some cbd oil on it and the pain will go down. It should pop in a few days. Drink some cbd water and the emotional pain will do down.”  
“Thank you, ma’am.”  
“No problem, sir.”  
This fanfiction was sponsored by CBD ASSES (CBD Awareness, Security, Saftey and Ethics Society.)

**Author's Note:**

> I stole a joke from supermega. Those dudes are funny. If you can identify the stolen joke, I will give you an award.


End file.
